My Summer Vacation, In Winter - Part I of III

¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡

THE RETURN OF BLOGGING

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

At last, a new entry, the first of three, detailing my pretty amazing summer vacation, in winter

You will not be dissappointed.

It`s been an obscenely long time since I last posted and I am sincerely sorry for leaving you sitting in front of your computer screen starved for attention but this post will make the two months you waited for a new entry to my life so very excited or 23 % of your money back.

***

I have been lazy in writing, and this is a fact as many obsessive fans have told me, some even making a website called ``PETITION FOR BRONSON TO STOP BEING A LAZY F*$%&$ AND START MAKING NEW BLOG ENTRIES``, but the site was quickly shut down due to another site, ``PETITION FOR `PETITION FOR BRONSON TO STOP BEING A LAZY F*$%&$ AND START MAKING NEW BLOG ENTRIES` TO STOP EXISTING AND LET OUR OWN SITE JUST DO ALL THE BUSINESS, BUT WE REALLY WANT BRONSON TO UPDATE BECAUSE WE`RE BORED OF CNN AND OTHER PEOPLE`S LAME ASS BLOGS`` getting more readers and, consequentially, more ad revenue, thus effectively shutting down the former site.

Phew. Lots of caps. Sorry for that eyestrain. But this blog entry was so delayed because I was, 1. On vacation, 2. On vacation, and, most importantly, 3. On vacation.

But...

I have decided to write this blog in three parts. Because I have such an enormous amount of information, delightful quips, beautifully composed fotos and intriguing scatter charts, it will be easier on both you and I for this blog to be sectioned off into three chunks of greatness.

WAIT!

Before you read this and decide to not return again for another two months, distrusting me for leaving my blog absent for so long, you must know that each segment below will be continued in two more installments, absolutely free of charge. They include:

Factlets For those who like numbers, a brand new feature on Bralapa that gives ``by the numbers`` details on miscellaneous facts.

Top ten, worst ten Is exactly that. What made my vacation worth it and what made me want to book the next flight back to Gringolandia.

Itinerary For a more detailed account, start to finish, of my journey, a more traditional blog entry.

AND YES, THERE WILL BE PHOTOS!!!




////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Getting There

I write this entry on my last day in Central America. To give you an idea, I traveled from Xalapa, Mexico on 15 dec. and am now in Costa Rica. All of that by bus, car, taxi, boat, kayak, bike and donkey. Here`s a map:




The route detailed by red line and major points are bulleted in blue. Map and photo of me to scale.


Factlets

about traveling from Xalapa, Mexico to Alajuela, Costa Rica (where I am now):

Getting There:
Hours on bus: >49
Cost of trip, transportation only: $157
Grand one-way total cost of transportation, including hotel stays, food, exit and entry fees at borders, etc.: $242.50

Getting Away:
Hours on airplane: 3
Hours on bus from Mexico City to Xalapa: 5
Cost of trip, transportation only: $299
Cost of other expenses: (projected) $12
______________________________

Savings -
Hours: 41
Money: $ -46.50
______________________________

Number of songs listened to on iPod: >3,642
Number of times Radiohead`s ``Paranoid Android`` played: 752
Number of times Bob Dylan`s ``Positively 4th Street`` played: 239
Suicide attempts on bus ride: 4
Failed suicide attempts on bus ride: 3.75
Number of chickens seen on ``chicken busses`` (old American school busses used as 2nd class transport): 0
Screaming Mayan babies on bus in Guatemala during two hour period: 7
Incidents of explosive diahrrea during trip: 3
Vomits: 2
Hours of actual sleep during 49 hours: 18
Movies shown: 7
``Little Man```shown: 2.25 times on same bus ride
Tamales eaten: 3
Nuns: 1
Euro backpackers: 15
``Bus`` attendants: 3
Currency conversions with black market border vagabonds: 3


////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Top ten things about entire vacation

10. Sea Turtles

While I was in Nicaragua with my uncles and cousins we visited a beach in the SE part of the country, where sea turtles lay there eggs in the sand. First, and this just boggles me, is how they know where to lay there eggs. I must`ve missed that National Geographic special, but how can a turtle, in the Pacific Ocean, know where to lay her eggs on that 1 km stretch of sand in tiny Nicaragua and not get lost before the eggs become useless? Secondly, when the turtles hatch after some sixty days, they must not only find their way out of the sand, but avoid the heat, birds, fish, poachers, other predators, as well as knowing to get to the ocean and be able find food without a mama!!! These animals are my heroes, even though they don`t look that intelligent and move slow.




***


9. Central Americanese

I didn`t think Central American Spanish would be that much different from the Mexican version, but surprise! it is. When I got to Guatemala City I indulged my gringoness by going to a Burger King and the cashier, I swear, spoke to me in Arabic. It seems in most countries here they cut the words and sounds, much more than Mexicans, who are said to have some of the most ``accurate`` Spanish pronunciations, though I think that is impossible. And the slang they use here is completely different as well. Not once did I here ``No mames, guey!`` (no way!), ``orale`` (wow), ``andale`` (right on, go ahead), which makes up about 64 percent of Mexican Spanish. Rather, they use, ``maje`` (dude), ``pura vida`` (pure life but sometimes used to say goodbye, wow, or as a filler; Costa Rica only), ``a la gran puta`` (holy shit), and my favorite, ``chancho!`` (pig, or dirty), a word always used by my uncles and dad.



8. Cost of traveling

I thought Mexico was cheap until I got to Central America. The affordability of travel, at least for gringos, makes it easy to go anywhere via the subcontinent`s great system of public transport, especially buses. In Costa Rica, for example, you can get from the Pacific side to the Caribbean side for about $15, which is 12 hours of traveling plus connection in the capital city. But beyond that, Costa Rica is the most expensive of Central America, Nicaragua probably being the cheapest. A night showing at a nice cinema costs $3 at most . You can get a filling, full dinner for under four dollars, and to get into an amusement park in El Salvador costs about five dollars. But even though it`s cheap, it`s easy to spend all your money fast, especially since the traveler gets the illusion that he`s not spending much and buys a lot of the little things, which add up fast.


////////////////////////////////////////////////////////


Itinerary


Last few weeks of first semester
1 dec. - 14 dec.

Final exams, as expected, were cake. One of my classes was a complete waste of time -- oral expression I -- because it moved at such a slow pace and I don`t think I learned a thing about conversation. Maybe some vocabulary but nothing revolutionary that made me think, ``My god, I`m finally fluent in español!``

Otherwise, I scored pretty well on my finals and overall got 4 A`s and 1 B. But for my taking of lower level classes first semester I need to take much more and harder classes this semester to fulfill the requirements of my university ¨:!

Most of my gringo friends were only staying first semester and it was hard saying goodbye as that was the first and only time that group of people would ever be in that same combination. Think about it though, how often that happens: how often will this combination of people happen again, especially amongst foreigners? It`s not something that`s easy when everyone says bye but it`s just a fact of life. I will for sure see some of them again some day but never again will have the convenience of seeing them at school every day and having wacky adventures around Xalapa.

On the night before almost everyone left, including me, we had a small party at our house (5 minutes from the school, right downtown), more of a get-together actually, and our house sort of became the ``goodbye`` house, as people kept stopping over and when they left it was for good because the next day they were going back home.

On that night I also drank a bunch of coffee and ate lots of raisin-peanut trailmix, so as to stay up as late as possible with my friends, but that was a huge mistake. On the next day, the 15th, I left Xalapa at night to Veracruz, where on the bus I started puking and other unmentionable activity. I`m not sure whether or not it was from the raisin mix and excessive coffee, but from that night I was sick almost a week.

A bit overrated
15 dec. - 18 dec.

Twelve hours after leaving Xalapa I arrived to San Cristobal de las Casas in Chiapas, Mexico, the southernmost state. Every tourist guide says it is a very beautiful colonial town, with a magical atmosphere, and that it is well worth visiting. But when I got there I realized I should`ve relied on a newer guide, as the town seemed to be overrun by tourists, most of them unemployed hippies trying to sell you poorly made bracelets. I don`t have a problem with people selling me bracelets (except in Teotihuacan where they swarm you like flies on caca) but people with dreadlocks and Che Guevera t-shirts and listening to Bob Marley music have become more cliched than the fat American tourist in Acaupulco with a camera slung around his neck and shelling out $20 for a 3-oz margarita.

Anyway...San Cristobal didn`t impress me much, but it was worth the stopover toward Central America to see the indigenous people, something that before I had only seen in movies. That area of Mexico is inhabited by a lot of Mayan people, who don`t enjoy when people take their photo, as evidenced by an Australian tourist I met when running up to a group of Mayans during a religious ceremony and upon taking their photo they stopped what they were doing and pointed, screamed and yelled at the traveler, making him extremely embarassed. Besides being camera shy, here are some other things I noticed about Mayans:

-They dress in very bright colors, especially the women
-Some men dress in oversized wool coats that seemed way too hot to wear even in the cold
-Women carry their baby in a simple cloth sling and the baby hangs on the womans back or sometimes in front of the woman.
-When the Mayan people sell stuff in the market they stack their fruit in little pyramaids
-Some of their religion is a mix between Catholicism and indigenous faith


In the next entry:

Suitcasing through Central America
Meeting family the first time